Are You Sure You Want to Use MMAP in Your DBMS?

A paper with the above provocative title started making the rounds back in 2022. While we originally discussed it over twitter, and some of our colleagues wrote longer responses on their blogs, we never wrote a long form response before. But since the paper keeps resurfacing from time to time, it seemed like a good idea to address it in depth, once and for all. The paper in question can be read fr